Another/Way - A Mermaid Cultivation Drink

"Are you tired of squeezing with others in the public bus like a can of packed sardines? Are you tired of working like a dog till 7 pm?

"As you sit among the ruins, gnawing on your moldy biscuit, thinking about your dead family and wondering why you're the only survivor struggling to live each day and overwhelmed by existential angst?

"Being human is painful, and you don't have much control over your life.

"If someone offered you another way of living — a simpler, happier, and more relaxing path — would you accept it?"

This was the sales pitch that the Mad Scientist A thought up for the promotion of his newest experimental product.

Description
As hinted by the slogan, this bottle of Mermaid Cultivation Drink would cause a mutation on a genetic level, changing a human's body cells gradually into that of a mermaid's. Long-term consumption or consumption of a large amount of this drink would eventually change a human into a mermaid completely.

Mermaids
Mermaids are more advanced and better than humans (Mad Scientist A, 6958). Unlike humans, mermaids have abandoned all forms of negative thinking and negative emotions. Therefore, mermaids are living beings who are always peaceful, always happy, never suspicious, never doubtful, and do not know greed. Once you become a mermaid, you can live freely in the deep sea without nary a worry in the world.

If you eat a fully transformed mermaid, you will either gain a more powerful and nimble body, extend your lifespan by a hundred years, or gain a more efficient brain. You will gain these attributes entirely by chance. If you would like to obtain all three attributes, please consume three different mermaids.

Remarks
The mermaid cultivation drink was banned two years after the product had been successfully developed. Thereafter, it is only seen occasionally in remote places, far from civilization.